First I cut down all my sign boards . . . then I ran inside and mounted them. I would do the finishing and distressing treatments once they dried. I had a few more things to cut on the table saw while it was set up. Normally, for the bigger pieces, I have a second person help me to guide it . . . because when you get further on the cut, the board can start to sag and it could torque. But I had a schedule to keep. I was humming along smoothly . . . nearly done cutting the back of the cupboard . . . then it happened . . . all in a split second . . . the board was sagging . . . just slightly . . . but it was enough . . . it torqued . . . which meant it was no longer running straight with the saw blade . . . before I realized what was happening, the board shot back at me . . . hitting me in the gut. I am not sure what I was doing . . . perhaps shielding myself from the flying board . . . but my hand shot out in protection. I felt an odd sensation. I was afraid to look . . . but my hand didn’t feel right. I looked down . . . yep . . . I was cut . . . as the blood spurted, I forced myself to stay calm . . . talking to myself . . . “shut off the saw, Brenda.” I did. Look at my hand . . . okay my fingers are there . . . well sort off . . . my ring finger is sideways and just sort of “hanging.” “Stay calm, Brenda . . . think through what you need to do . . .” . . . I walk calmly out of the shop. There is a wet towel I had used for wiping down a dusty desk I was selling. “Wrap your hand in the towel, Brenda.” I did.
When life is out of control . . . God is in control . . . when things seem hopeless . . . hope is still there because God is hope. When panic wants to rule you . . . let God rule you instead. I know my calm . . . the calm I needed in order to save myself . . . was not from me . . . it was from God. On my own, I am a frightened child with no ability to calm myself. Panic is eminent. But with God at the wheel, order prevails. I know I have so far to go in my Christian walk, but I am so thankful that I at least know who is in control. When I didn’t even know if I had fingers my God of calm, said, “turn off the saw.” When I didn’t know what to do next, the God of calm said, “grab the towel.” When I couldn’t find my phone, He reminded me where it was. When I couldn’t swallow in the hospital and I was doing hard battle with panic, He stepped in as the warrior . . . He beckoned me to trust in Him and stay calm . . . and I did.
When Satan tells me I am worthless, I will intentionally listen to my Lord’s calm voice telling me, “I died for you.” When fear rears it’s ugly head and tells me my children will never turn out, I will intentionally listen and hear Jesus assuring me He loves my children even more than I do and remind me that our prayers do not fall void. Whether it be finances, depression, fear, anger, temptation or whatever wants to steal your peace, do not give it that power . . . God is in the calm . . . never in the panic.
Tonight I just got home after setting up for our latest show, “Pickin’ Christmas”, which will take place at the Greyhound Event Center in Post Falls Idaho this coming weekend, December 3 and 4. We have the spots all marked off, the placement figured out for everything from decor to ticket booths . . . and my booth is done. I am pleased with how simple it came together and how nice I think it will display. But still tonight finds me anxious and stressed.